sometimes i think

or i can't believe that i created this life laying in his bed as i watch him sleep at night....can't believe that my little boy is now 12 and turning into a young man, can't believe how the years have past me by...we have both grown so much whereas i am not sure what to do at this moment...the here and the now...realizing that he has a few years left with me and then he will be gone....not gone from him and i ....but gone to where he will have his own life...i see little parts of him and i..a unit....as one..slip away each day.. i see it as he runs out the house to play with his friends outside...see it as he rather much play video games and not peek-a-boo with me..much rather talk on the phone to other people than have a conversation with me.....i see it with the way he dresses the way he talks the way he interacts with other people..my little adult..how i cherish those quiet  moments just he and i shared....we grew up together ...him and i...how can i slowly let him go and find his own way into the world....my boy turning into a man? ....it's scary but I know he will always love me..i think the thing that i am scared of the most is that my little boy will one day have another woman in my life and i will no longer be number one...how do i handle that?